State of the world/state of my mind

 
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It’s been a little while since my last blog post. I wish I could say it’s because I’ve been so busy with a million exciting projects but that wouldn’t be entirely true.

I mean, I have been busy, partially with exciting projects and partially with shitty drudgery that pays the bills. But I’ve also had enough time to watch the entirety of Stranger Things 2 within the space of a couple of days, so. (V. important side note: how freakin’ GOOD is Erica, Lucas’ sassy little sister? Defs one of my fav things to come from this season).

The truth is, though, I’ve opened up countless Word docs and started writing about a bunch of stuff, like woes about my age, creative envy, the concept of home, self care and everything in between.

They’re all things I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, which makes me think I should probably write about them. But when I try, it’s exhausting. It’s like I’m trying really hard to care about these things. I do care about these things. But it’s all been feeling kind of pointless and self-indulgent to devote 1,000 words to—and hijack the attention of (a mere few) readers—for some article about something as seemingly frivolous as art when the world is going down the toilet.

Like, for instance, the whole Weinstein thing and the ensuing #metoo campaign and how dudes finally are like ‘huh, ok, maybe women aren’t lying or exaggerating when they talk about being harassed/abused/raped/disrespected/creeped out by dudes EVERY SINGLE DAY EVER’ despite us telling them every single day ever.

And how Kevin Spacey’s deflecting from his gross predatory paedo behaviour by choosing this exact moment to come out, and how too many men are just plain predatory, and Dustin Hoffman and Brett Ratner and Bill Cosby and Jeremy Piven and even Nick fucking Xenophon and and and.

Or when ugly, nasty, outright homophobia has become an ‘opinion’ towards which we’re asked to show respect during this stupid plebiscite that by definition is disrespectful towards the LGBTIQ people in our community.

And when our pathetic excuse for a government just fucking abandons hundreds of refugees on Manus who are clearly worthless because they don’t hold a passport from a country populated predominantly by white people, and piece-of-shit Dutton is all like IT’S THE ADVOCATES WHO ARE MAKING THIS SITUATION SO BAD. (Actual important side note: there are things we can do to help).

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When white supremacists in Tennessee are all like ‘white lives matter’ with absolutely no fucking understanding of their loftiest of privilege or what the Black Lives Matter movement even stands for, and how the local paper in my parents’ Victorian country town just yesterday ran a classified ad placed by someone wanting to form a white pride alliance there.

When a brown man tragically kills eight and injures a dozen in NYC and Trump’s response is NOT IN THE USA EXTREME VETTING PROGRAM SCRAP THE VISA DIVERSITY PROGRAM WE MUST GET MUCH TOUGHER, but when a white dude kills 59 and wounds hundreds in Vegas it’s like warmest sympathies to those affected GOD BLESS AMERICA ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s just the stuff that gets reported widely. God knows there are terrible things that happen that barely get a couple of inches of column space in the paper, like the devastating bombing in Somalia a few weeks back, and the ongoing plight of the Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar.

So, I’m angry. And I’m even angrier after just writing all that out. It all feels so terribly futile sometimes, and in combination with a few weeks of extra crap mental health, lately it’s hard not to feel like everything I’m working towards is just plain fucking meaningless.

But while writing this post—admittedly, with no real ending in mind, it was just going to be a big ol’ rant—I’m reminded of some actually great things happening in the world. Like how the Queensland government has withdrawn their financial support for the Adani coalmine (small victories, y’all). Or the Twitter employee who, on his last day of working there yesterday, deactivated Trump’s account for an incredible 11 minutes. The biting sass of Samantha Bee’s Full Frontal and Chrissy Teigan’s glorious Twitter presence and the hard, relentless work of Clementine Ford. Steve Harrington’s hair (still in the Stranger Things 2 bubble, sorry). Patton Oswalt’s Annihilation (TEARS). Broad City always and forever (though season four is kinda missing the mark for me so far).

So many things, often simple things, that make you think the world actually has some good people in it. And that the good people are often creating things that help the rest of us get through the shit the bad people create, often using said shit as fodder for the good shit that makes us happy (hello, every single Kate McKinnon sketch on SNL).

So I guess I’m realising first-hand that there’s always room for beauty and art in the world. Even when things are dire. Or maybe especially when things are dire.